I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
the room spins SO much faster in panama
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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