this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
