Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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