Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
sarcasm needs its own font
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
