why didn't you poke me back
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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