Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
