Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
