Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
