do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
