When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize