he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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