very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
