The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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