I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
