I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
