Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
