Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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