my text book just quoted the cookie monster
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
