my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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