We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
