Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
