he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
