That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
