The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
