I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
