I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
