And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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