DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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