Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Randomize
