the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
