so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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