In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
