I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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