Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
