on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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