I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize