dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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