Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
my poor anus
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
