i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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