Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
