i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
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