dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
