I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
