I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
