there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
