Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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