Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
