Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
