dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
