eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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