Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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