Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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