I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
