I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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