I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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