why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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