Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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