I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
