Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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