i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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