Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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