They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
