Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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